Earthquake Reckoning

Perhaps because I had been so well prepared for this deployment, I was initially somewhat immune to the emotional stress and pull of the disaster zone I am now living in.

For weeks now I've seen the horrendous effects of the earthquake. Port-au-Prince is still devastated covered in rubble. Destroyed buildings are everywhere. Only a few roads have been rehabilitated. Huge crews of people in in brightly colored tees hired by NGOs and government under programs called 'cash for work' move around rubble in small buckets. Stream beds are strewn with litter (and often the rubble from these crews). The enormous tent cities and camp sites are all over.

And yesterday it all hit me. There was a minor security incident which touched of a flurry of emotion in me. I suddenly saw things differently. I felt the weight of the disaster. I can't quite explain it but something in my switched.

Work is life. Life is work. Simple as that. Days are long and stressful. The successes I achieve are so minor, so fleeting, that it is hard to hold onto them. Sometimes at the end of the day I can't believe it's only been one day. Sometimes I try to pull a thread of positivity and it can be hard to find.

And yet. There is tremendous beauty here. And resilience. And here in the office we are surrounded by the best of the best. I have come to cherish the people around me. Without going into too much hyperbole, I'll say that they are some of the best in the field. Well experienced vets who know how to do things. In two short (and yet very long) weeks I've already become attached to them. And the thought of leaving them in a few weeks is already painful.